By now I should have 192 posts…I have 11…life happens…I’ve learned this. A lot has happened over the course of a couple of months and honestly there is just not enough time to catch up, but I can try my hardest. Also, I’ll try to include a small self-help story at the end just to keep the flow.
So in February I started my last trimester at my college, and boy, was it the hardest one! I had to finish up my Spanish degree, and I had to do my internship. I thought a lot about where I wanted to go for my internship and ultimately decided on our local Fox news station. This was honestly the best time could have ever had at an internship. The people that I worked with cared about me and my future, and continue to care for me. I still keep in contact with all of them because being a communications major major does kind of mean you should be good at that. I loved being able to finally be behind the camera and see what all happens. I learned that everyone has their own struggle, and that you can overcome it no matter what. If you stay hopeful, you will be successful. The girl that I mainly worked with went through a lot in her life and her college career, and she was able to make it to a news station and is now in talks in becoming an anchor. You have to stay headstrong in the time and in this world. There’s so much competition out there now that you just have to keep your faith strong, and not let the small bumps get you down. Look at the larger picture and know that it is only a bad moment in your life and that it is not a bad life. You can still make it to your classes, you can still pas, you can make it to that interview, you can do anything you put your mind to.
My last Spanish class was just exactly that, a last Spanish class. It was hard for me to keep up with my work because of work and trying to keep my somewhat social life alive. In this process my grades of course started to slip, and I started to do what I do best, panic.
(Props if you get the reference)
I was literally scared of everything. I was scared that I wouldn’t graduate, I was scared that I would never get a good job, and I was scared to make a fool out of myself to my family. In the process of wanting to literally just die because of this class, I pulled an intense all-nighter and finished the class. That all-nighter ended up saving me and my college career. I cried my eyes out several different times from just pure exhaustion. My boyfriend (bless him) stayed up as much as he could with me and supported me all the way through it. I cannot describe how much I am truly thankful to have him in my life. Honestly, I probably would have given up if it weren’t for him, and I just cannot express enough how lucky I am.
I did it. I graduated college. I am the first Yoon and the first Romero to go to American college and finish. I pray to God everyday that I did enough to make everyone proud. I spent so many nights of my college career staying awake and questioning my worth. I spent so many days and nights crying over literally everything. Between school and relationships that I shouldn’t have allowed to rule me so much, I was so mentally tired. I walked onto the stage at my graduation, looked out into the crowd, saw my mom, friends, boyfriend, and my sweet niece and almost started to cry. I did it. I did it all for them. You see completing college wasn’t just for me. I, of course, wanted to prove the people wrong that told me that I would never be successful, but I did it for all of them. I am my mom’s proudest moment in human form, and I was not about to let her down. Now, I know she would be proud of me no matter what I did, but me walking across that stage wasn’t just me. It was my mom, my dad, my grandparents, and all of my ancestors that walked across that stage. I don’t know how many generations of my family wanted to come to America and be successful in this aspect, but as I walked across that stage they were there. All of the aunts, uncles, moms, dads, grandparents, and kids that didn’t have the chance to see this land or have the proper finances for college were represented in me that day.
What have I been doing since I graduated college? I’ve been breathing. Reading. Thinking. Unlike most of the people that I walked that stage with, I’ve stayed at my small minimum wage job and stayed in my college town. Most people have moved on and found grown up jobs. Me? I would like to take some time to sit and relax. I want to do what makes me happy for a little bit before I jump straight into life. I am currently a district trainer for my job. I love the people I work with, I love helping people grow in their lives and mentally, and I love watching people become successful because of my guidance. I’ve traveled a little bit. I’ve been able to see places that I don’t get to go to often. I’ve met new people that have helped me grow just as much as I’ve helped them. I feels extremely nice to be able to help improve the world, even if it is one person at a time.
Okay so time for the little self-help, inspiration part.
I have a dog. His name is Happy. He is the best boy. Every time I come home he gets extremely excited and can hardly contain himself. He is honestly one of the best dogs I have ever had. He makes me so excited to go home because I know he will be waiting for me and will love me unconditionally. But he does have a major downside to that love.
He loves everyone.
I’m not completely sure if he understands how to distinguish between people that come in and out of his front door. As soon as someone walks through that door he is jumping on them and wanting all of their attention. He will give his all for anyone who enters his house. He gets so overly excited sometimes that he begins to cough and makes himself really sick. He’ll go and lay down afterwards because he has worn himself out!
I can’t even begin to count how many times I have seen girls and guys completely heartbroken. They give their all for the wrong person because they are so sure that that person is the one. They cook dinners for each other, they buy things for each other, they will do anything to keep that person around. They put their hearts and souls into that relationship only to be thrown away. Happy is a lot like these people. He gets so overly excited for every single person that he forgets to take it slow, and he nearly kills himself trying to keep them happy and entertained.
Take it slow. Life is life. If you go to fast you’ll pass by the things that truly make you happy. You’ll forget about yourself, and you’ll forget about your health. Know your worth, and don’t let anyone throw you away. Don’t be Happy. Sometimes doors will open and someone will come in. Sometimes you have to learn to ignore those people and keep your eyes on the ones that are always there for you. Give your love to the ones that truly love you. Do not give that love to just anyone. Learn to be lonely, and learn that you don’t always need to have someone. I’ve seen so many people heartbroken because they love too much. Take a step back and realize that some people in your life aren’t really there for you, but they are there for what you do for them. They only come around when they need you not when they want you. Learn the difference between that need and that want. Love yourself. Learn to be happy and not Happy.